Friend - Marvellous

#HardtosayImsorry #Chicago

#Sorrymypast #Imreallyregret

From primary school until high school, I was only around with three girls all the time and they used to be my best friends. We were always same class and one of them was always my tablemate, always! A part of shyness, a part of my feeling that they were enough for me. I'm really a introvert. When we moved to high school, a lot of new friends wanted to make friend with me but I kept silent and away from them. My tablemate would be unsatisfied with me and I was scared her. Actually they left me behind many times. We had appointment to go to school at 12 noon together but my tablemate suddently was anxiety with me something, she would go firstly without me, of course, two other girls would follow her. She was always attractive to everyone and became a spotlight in conversations.

The only thing I could do at that time was sad and cried until she forgave me and was back as a friend. I didn't tell anyone about my sorrow and lived with it every day. It became an absession that I couldn't pass through. I jailed myself in anxiety and isolation, of course I had missed all game and chatting with others. My mind only thought about her and waited for her mind change even if I didn't know what makes her annoying.

The day I entered into university gate, it was the day my life changed. We couldn't have same class again. Four people, four different universities. Those first days, I used all my courage to go to university lonely. And I realized that I didn't know how to make friends. While they laughed and talked, I just sat the last table in the corner to avoid contacting with anyone. Some guys saw me and started talking with me but conversations only taking thirty seconds and stopped. I didn't know how to talk and keep continuing it. That's stupid. But it was exactly what happend in my life. I couldn't say I was a special person, I just say I was a prissy person. I used to easy to judge some girls who wore sexy or made up over or their colour hair. I used to admire and compliment on nice girls who slandered behind my back. I couldn't play sport well because of my nervousness, I thought that everyone gazed at me when I appeared. All time as a student, I had nothing to remember but my best friend who is a generous girl. She taught me a lot of things how a friend was, that's totally new for me. Clearly, a new definition I had never known before.

After leaving from university and jumped into company but I was not better to make friends. It was difficult for me to talk and keep conversations with someone. They say that it's lucky you have close friends despite of only one. But how about if she is busy while you really need her in moment. So learn to make friends is clearly very important, not only help you when you feel sad or need assistance but teach you to open your heart with everyone and accept other's help with positive attitude.

I was extremly confused to get to Baguio. No mention. I was alone there. No family. No friends. No relationship. No experience but a paper of Official Letter of Acceptance from Academy. I didn't know how and where to start, I only smiled with anyone who I met and said "Hi". But the most amazing thing was I had not known the power of smile. In consequences, in a short time I made a lot of friends, almost of people who I smiled with became my friends later. We talked and discussed about classes, teachers, lessons, cultures, countries, foods,... And with a special one, I shared the secret things with her and cried together. Smile made us closer although we were from different countries. I didn't hesitate to show myself to them, it was the time I completely lived as myself. I didn't have solitary feelings or shyness because I knew I was ready to make friends. My heart overflowed with joy. Maybe friendship will be maintained in the future, maybe not. But it is sure that when you make a new friend means you are ready to receive new things and open more than a door of pleasure in your life. Friends are not too supernumerary, contrary to, they make your soul stronger and happier. Your mission is simply to open your heart!