Chase the dream

#EltonJohn

Yesterday when I watched the talk show of a famous Singer who tells the way he chases his dream. It made me recall the way I passed.

He said that he has never liked other things except music. He said that he dreamed to become a singer even he did not know what it means and how to approach. His family has economy but they did not want him to choose the singer as his career, they worried about his destiny and future uncertainly. But step by step he convinced his parents, first thing was to buy a computer, install the music record software, upload his music records on website, register in the music university and live with it day by day. Now he is a famous singer with millions fan, makes new records and creates a big wave effected to young generation. Now they have admitted that he is genius of music, a passion and sensitive person with rhythm and lyric at very young age, only 21 years old.

The story recalled the date I had no perceptions of my career or what I wanted to do at 21 years old. But one thing I always desired was fluent in English. From grade 9 in secondary school, I intentionally consider English was my most favorite subject even I was not good at.

After graduating, I often quitted off the jobs because I did not have opportunities to use English. Firstly I stopped working in Vietnamese companies, their environment was not suit with me – I thought. I was unemployment for several months and chose studying English and taking a Toiec Exam to keep myself busy. Two month later, by the old co-worker´s introduce I was given an offer from Asia Company where managers could not speak my mother language. Do you think it was perfect? Yes, it used to be perfect in first day at least. Then, I often cried because I couldn´t hear any words, to do work I asked my co-workers to translate for me, it was worse than they did not understand what I said. I told my manager ¨can you send me message?¨ while he was on the phone with me. He was very much annoyed with me, and so was I. My English ability seemed useful on book. It died immediately when I opened my mouth. But I still wanted to talk in English, and time by time, I did it. However my sentences were almost incorrect in Grammar. Luckily, some managers were same. We understood each other by some way. 2 years later, still in Asia company the manager complained me that ¨you talked too much,… ¨ when I explained with him about the financial situation in English. I nearly smiled inside, so happy.

Five years later, I left the Asia Company when the project finished. I expressed desire to work in English native company. Again, English was a new challenge for me while I had no new certificate of English in my hand. From secondary school to university, English in my mind was only ¨Hi, how are you. I´m fine. Thank you. And you? ¨. They repeated again and again in books, even teacher´s pronunciation was wrong. Many parents want their children can speak and listen to English, they must invest in English center where spend at 100$ or more per month as tuition. I did not have money for that. My parents also never cared about that matter and many times complained me that I did not accept my life like my friends, neighbors, or cousin sisters, brothers did. One more important than I am a woman, it meant that I should get married, stay at home, work a low salary job to have time taking care husband and born baby. Chasing the career is not a mission of a woman, specially Asia women. Although like this, but when they heard that I stopped working, nobody supported me to quit off job at 30 age, even my best friend. They said it was too adventure. I was lonely for long time before I made a decision to move to Southern, started in the biggest city with purpose was to escape my parents´ pressure of married. Old Manager introduced me with his staff and it was not much difficulty I was given an offer from my old company but difference of branch. However after working in 2 days I realized that I hardly had any chances to talk or listen to English there. My co-workers and direct manager did not use English.

Again, many people expressed their disappointment about my decision on giving up the good job that time. I hardly slept well and often cried without controlling. I was deeply in depression along with a question ¨Did I do wrongly or rightly?¨. I need someone to show me what I should follow. But nobody. Around me was dark, I also know no way to go and the more do not know how to do. I went to airport for my first flight to another country at midnight lonely. I could not turn back anymore, all saving money I put it a bet of my destiny. That flight brought me to Baguio, Philippines. With many friends, Baguio was quite a normal place comparing with Cebu or Manila but with me it was a peace place at that time. I slept well, ate well and enjoyed English. Some friends asked me ¨Jane, you looks so happy, you always smile¨. I was shocked when heard it. I was losing my way and reaching there like a running away but nobody saw, it was so good. They said I was happy so I should live happily, and I did.

English brought me more friends, chances to work again but it is important, it makes me find the confidence from inside. My dream does not come true but step by step I will reach it. The successful one gives you the lesson, you will learn quickly and feel motivation. But sometimes look back on yourself, pass over the hard time or become to be like you are, it is also considered as a success to encourage yourself.